An American Holiday Disaster

This is the story of 4 workmates that decided to celebrate the most American of American holidays - National Hot Dog Day.

 

This is Ada. It's probable that she's responsible for this mess.

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Like everyone else in this story, Ada works at Offers.com. Along with her co-workers, she helps promote the best coupons and deals on the Internet. As an expert in seeking out and advertising deals, it makes sense that Ada had inside information about National Hot Dog Day. There's no other reason the others would embrace $1 chili cheese dogs and American dogs from Sonic.

This is Ryan

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He's a photographer and the company videographer. He's also a "yes man" when it comes to adventures with the girls. And like any other fine young American man, he would definitely say yes to $1 hot dogs. He's also manly enough to add chili to his tater tots. There's no reason to foreshadow. Dear readers. You KNOW that every one of these people ordered tater tots with cheese, too. We ARE talking about celebrating a national holiday at Sonic.

This is Christy. me.

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I've been around awhile. Certainly long enough to know that $1 hot dogs are probably "iffy" at best. I admit to caving in to peer pressure. My original lunch plans included a container of left-over cabbage and green beans. Organic, of course.

This is Crystal. She's the office social coordinator.

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Although Ada likely instigated this whole hot dog celebration, it's not a done deal until Crystal says so. You know. She has THAT kind of influence. Please study the above photograph. We all know Lone Star Beer sucks, but I bet you looked at that picture and thought it was pretty cool.

Lunch for a Dollar

I think it's fair to say that anyone would get excited about a $1 lunch.
All I know is that Crystal said to me, "Oh my god. One dollar chili dogs at Sonic! We should go."
I can be non-committal if I have to, and at first, I felt like I would be able to resist this suggestion disguised as a proclamation.
Didn't work like that.
Crystal continued to explain that today was National Hot Dog Day, and that Sonic was selling $1 chili cheese dogs and $1 American dogs all day. "We should do it. You want to go?"

..."Maybe."

After a flurry of IM exchanges with Ryan and Ada, the decision was made. I blew off the cabbage and headed to Sonic with my workmates to celebrate.
Talk about a long line. Apparently, this holiday is more important than I thought.
In fact, there was a lady in front of us who ordered 84 dogs. 84!

Of course, our plan was to spend $2. That's 2 dogs. You figured out early in this post that we spent more than $2 each. Tater tots! No trip to Sonic is complete without tater tots! Ada and Christy got the traditional cheesed up variety. Crystal - being from El Paso and all - added jalapenos to hers. Ryan manned up and went full on chili and cheese. Add a cherry limeade, and one has ordered the most American meal possible on a hot July day. Lunch total - $6.93 each.

It looked like this.

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This is not something we shared. No-sir-ee. This is what we got apiece.

We were in and out of there in 30 minutes. Indeed. Fast food.
We took our American selves back to the car.

That's when the trouble started

Ada proclaimed she had cramps. Crystal seemed to think she might not make it back to the office before all hell broke loose. Although Christy and Ryan initially felt fine, Crystal's panicked driving changed all that. Our experience was somewhere between the stomach flu and a heart attack.

We did make it back to the office with our guts in tact, but it went downhill from there. Crystal got scary pale. Ryan didn't make his usual after lunch visit to our department. Ada got an eerily timed email about the 8 things that happen when you eat bad food. And let me tell you, these 8 things happen fast!  Here are 4 examples:

1. You may experience lethargy.

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2. You will experience bloating and gas.

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3. Possible vertigo.

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4. Depression and withdrawal.

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Trust me. We won't do it again.
Our boss - who's all about a good deal - even said, "Christy. Come on. You know better than that."

Of course I do! But I think it's appropriate that we try our own deals here at Offers.com. In fact, I'll bet there are 84 people who still think that National Hot Dog Day is the greatest American holiday ever! And no matter how bad we felt, I can promise you that none of us will give up tater tots with cheese.
Because THAT, my friends, would be un-American.

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