Bear Creek Concerts
No they are not gone. Merely hibernating. Cause that's what bear do.
Regular season begins September 15, 2007.
Listen to Christy
Christy's one and only solo project. There are a few still in the shrink wrap.
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Porch Talk...
As most who read this know, the Bear Creek Cabin sits up on pier and beam. So the air conditioning unit has its condensation run-off under the house. During the guest house construction, I un-screwed the water hose that was attached to the run-off pipe, because my condensation drain field is now a septic drain field. Apparently, the county environmental inspector does not approve of pure water running into a septic system. So most of the spring, the drip from the A/C has just dripped under the house and created a nasty puddle. It's nasty because Sunny and Mairn keep it churned up as they hunt the frogs that they believe instantly appear with every drop of water. I swear they think frogs are like sea monkeys that can be freeze dried and reincarnated instantly with every flip of an A/C switch.
Also, Sunny has taken to mouse hunting. This is good because mice moved in when all the dirt work from the new guest house started. This is bad because she's going after them from the bottom up. That means she's torn about 1000 square feet of insulation from under the floor of the cabin. It's awesome and horrible, and I don't know that she's actually caught a mouse.
So mix some fiberglass into the puddle under there.
Being a good farm girl, and a practical conservationist, I decided to redirect the condensation into a water trough and use it to water our outdoor plants. Sounds good, but there's some gravitational blueprinting involved in this... and a lot of time under the house on my back.
...in the mud and water.
It's spring. Let's be clear about what that means under a cabin in the middle of the country. Not only are there mice, but maybe rats under there. So there will be natural predators, too. Snakes. Stinky rat snakes. and copperheads. and millipedes. and wasps that have built hidyhole nests up in the holes that Sunny tore in the insulation.
But I went under there today.
I feel certain I contracted some kind of skin condition.
I laid on a millipede. A wasp dive bombed my face. I ate mud, got dust in my eyes, and got that disgusting water in my panties.
My rigged up system didn't work. I need a rigid piece of PVC pipe that slopes a few inches from point of origin to the handy trough I bought. I thought a water hose would work, but it sags too much, so I figure I may get some backflow. And when that happens, my one and only closet (Sheryl has all the other closets in the house) floods.
Now that I've been contaminated with under-the-house water, I've decided to use some basic physics and geometry to do this little water collection system right.
For now, the hose is strewn under the house, out into the back yard to direct water towards the wood line. So hopefully, my next visit to the underside of Bear Creek will be dryer and less frightening.
I wonder...
This next post is either naive or obtuse. I'm not sure which. But I'm wondering if the current state of the economy and the probable worsening of it will improve our health habits.
That's weird. I know. But the idea hit me at the grocery store today.
Here's why.
More home gardens, so people eat more fresh vegetables.
More wild game (legal or not).
More walking; whether we want to or not, but if you can walk two blocks...
Less money for processed goodies.
However, I'm not so naive as to think there will be less drinking and smoking. I suspect those things may go up proportionately to people's financial stress levels. It's stupid, but it's what we do.
My wondering my have to do with my own habit changes.
I know that whole foods are ultimately cheaper than processed foods.
I find that a few nights of strictly vegetarian meals (made with fresh ingredients) saves me money. And I usually feel better because of it.
Sweets in this household are created, by Sheryl, around our wild dewberry pickings. We're not buying pre-made sweets. We never buy chips and things like that.
The veggie thing has been easy because I have employees and relatives who have huge gardens. We barter dewberries for squashes and onions and yard eggs.
It really does save us money.
Next year, we'll have our own garden. It was the plan for this year, but the rain delayed construction on the guest house, so the yard was still torn up when we should have been creating and planting our spring garden. But a fall garden will likely happen. I'm still resisting the idea of having chickens. I feel 6 dogs, one old cat, and four parrots is my max. When Sheryl gets a job that doesn't require 4 days a week of travel... THEN I'll consider more animals.
My brother gave me some venison sausage. As little meat as we eat, three links will last us a few weeks. It's extremely lean and full of iron.
We still have our running trail.
We don't go to bars on Saturday night... we sit on our porch and listen to the night sounds and watch the sun set. This alone is good for the health as nature totally decompresses us better than any booze or smoky bar.
We're pretty old fashioned.
Old fashioned, small town/country entertainment. Rural food selection. Conservative with the resources. We catch rain water in barrels and water our plants like that.
In fact, I need to go open the barrels. We're supposed to have a good rain tonight.
Anyway. My random thoughts for the day. Also my less than exemplary attempt at writing daily.
It's been my experience that fundraisers tend to shoot for the big bucks, and that big bucks tend to come from people with big incomes. On rare occasion, the "every man" event scores big. i.e. Relay for Life. This is one of my favorite fundraising events because it's a community event, too. All walks of life participate because it's relatively easy to meet the $1000 per team goal. Therefore the participants look like a real community. Rich, poor, educated, working class, doctors, convenience store workers, young, old, black, white, brown, fat, skinny, fit, not so fit, you get the idea. If you can handle the all night part of it, a Relay for Life is one of the most fun and meaningful things you can do with your community.
However, fundraisers more often look like this: Affluent (or at least not minimum wage types), dressy, live auction, silent auction, expensive live band, a smattering of local celebrities and politicians, and glitz. It can go from full on "high roller" to full on "wallet seizure." I enjoy some of these events, but not many. Naturally, I really dig Family Crisis Center's dance, dinner and auction. It's a very open minded event because we all know about the "uglies" we're there to support. Lots of minorities are willing to work the day to day part of this kind of community need. So the event is much more real. We drink too much, dance too much, laugh too much and spend too much. But we've made some good friends at those events.
...O.K. So there's only ONE of these kinds of events I enjoy.
Even in the hospice world, our fundraisers tend to be insulated. In Austin, I've attended an auxiliary event that made me feel like a hillbilly. It was gross... but they raise some serious cash, and I can do gross if serious non-profit hospice cash can be raised. At my hospice, we have our big Happening in Bryan. We claim it's for everyone, but everyone doesn't come. I never see large representations of blacks or hispanics or poor people. It's the "important" people. And no one mingles. No one talks to anyone they don't know. It's a huge event. It's a big social bang that raises some serious cash, that once again, is very much needed. Mostly because we run this old fashion, expensive hospice model that just can't be touched by the contemporary hospice movement. That model alone allows us to raise serious money by seriously appreciative people who have seen the Hospice Brazos Valley team in action. In our Brenham office, it's more of a cowboy fundraiser. Still not particularly ethnic or socio-economically broad.
I march to a different hospice drummer. It makes some C-suite residents nuts.
I don't care.
When I do a hospice event, I totally think out the broad demographics of our communities and try to tailor to that. I want every soul ever involved in hospice care to be represented at my "fundraiser."
I throw community events.
This past Saturday, our La Grange office had a cooking contest that featured categories representative of our patient demographic. Czech, German, Tex-Mex, Soul Food, and the Texas Maverick. Although the event was not nearly as large as the Bryan or Brenham events, it was HUGE where diversity plays in. We had young, old, black, white, Mexican, German, Czech, rich, poor, college professors, long-haired bikers, foreign born citizens, fat, skinny, wheel chair bound, downs syndrome, good 'ol boys, Buddhists, Catholics, Protestants, aethiests, CEOs, minimum wagers, farmers, dogs, on and on and on.
... and we had big, big fun.
That's the kind of joy people who have been touched by death should share. The kind where we all hug, we all dance together, we all sing together, we all eat together, and we all share our cultures.
Food.
I'm telling you. It's the great peace maker. The soul food contestants were taking home left over Scotch Eggs. The middle class white mama (mine) threw all her votes to the soul food peach cobbler entry. Tamales. Biscotti. Peanut Cakes. Black Eye Peas. Chili. Sausage. beer. Popcorn. Kids of all colors running everywhere, making friends with each other. Working together. And the accordion lilting through the air with Cajun and Tejano favorites, but only to finish it all off with the Beer Barrel Polka and some dancing.
If there's a hospice heaven, then this is what it looks like. I'm telling you that it's full of crusty characters with long hair and tattoos, gentle ladies, ancient grannies whose mothers remember slavery, babies, dogs, cowboys, beer drinkin' coon-asses, Mexicans and bohemians. I think all the food must taste like Miss Gloria's black-eye peas and a young mother's undocumented recipe for peanut cakes that has been passed down for generations by word of mouth from grandmother to mother to daughter. It's the inexact recipe passed down by love and pride that took the Grand Prize in our cooking contest. And that is only fitting for a hospice heaven.
Community events take a hell of a lot of work, and the pay off is more than money. However, if they succeed in unifying a community, the financial support usually follows. That's my hope and expectation for the La Grange hospice cooking contest. It's also my hope and expectation for our monthly installment of Bear Creek Concerts. At the end of the night, we all leave with an eclectic group of new friends, and we've heard music that feels like a traditional recipe for peanut cakes. It will never be exactly replicated, but the memory will be strong, and the sense of community will be powerful, because I will load up a heavy barrel of food and money and give it to the poorest of the poor in Fayette County. And those who feed them will be grateful, and we who come to the porch will be real fundraisers.
My headline sounds like the title to the latest "how to" marketing/business best seller. But there's more to it than that. I hope that what I write is obvious, but my experience tells me that it's not. Basically, most businesses do not have managers with good EQ. Many supervisors simply view their jobs as a bigger paycheck, but they don't understand the responsibility of their title. Therefore, some spend too much time "playing golf" and lunching. Others see their role as that of the "pick up player." They lack delegation or negotiating skills so they just overwork themselves to pick up the slack for a weak team. Neither one of these managers is worth much at the end of the day. Both are ignoring the cause of the problems that may be keeping a team from working at top efficiency or effectiveness.
I suggest thinking of your management role as that of a mechanic. I'll use myself as an example. I own an old diesel tractor that is always breaking down. The problem is never obvious. Recently, it wouldn't start. I said, "it's the starter's fault!" But it wasn't that simple. The starter couldn't crank because something else was wrong. I checked for fuel line leaks or places where compression could seep out. Couldn't find any. I took the battery in to be tested. It was fine. The alternator was good. I sprayed ether in the air filter. That just froze everything up. Finally, a friend came over and tried DW40 in the main fuel hose. That was it! My engine was air locked! It wasn't the starter at all, it was a fuel problem causing the starter to feel sluggish.
That's how employee issues work. Usually the obvious culprit is not the culprit at all. If an employee is not doing his/her job correctly, ask why? Is the employee really an idiot or lazy? Or did a manager fail to properly train that person. Or did the company fail to properly equip that person to do his/her job. Or did the manager fail to check in on the employee and monitor progress to insure all tasks were covered as they needed to be. Or has the manager failed to instruct and continue to help the employee grow and achieve? Is there some outside factor inhibiting good performance. How do other staff members treat or interact with that employee? And when the real culprit is found, is the manager prepared to deal with it?
My experience is that managers have no idea how to deal with it. They just blame the employee and then go play golf or do the job themselves. And they'll be bitching about the employee the whole way. As things deteriorate, they'll decide the employee needs to go, but then they're saddled with the big HR problem: no documentation of training, support, counseling or even so-called poor performance.
Now, my friends, that manager has a full blown, metasticized case of Cancer.
Every manager has a manager. Managers need to pick real leaders to manage. Not just someone whose been around for many years, or who knows how to do the job, or who plays golf with his/her manager. Managers need not be afraid of people with vision and insight. They need to put down their own golf clubs and and face real human problems. And if that's too hard for them, they need to pick people who CAN do it.
Most problems exist because we have poor people skills in the workplace. We let the loud, negative people run the place. We're so avoidant of them that we just let them take over and metasticize their sickness. My suggestion is that the manager use the golf club as a spine and call a spade a spade. Point out the poor behavior and ask why it's happening. Listen for those little air locks in the fuel line. Then spray some DW40 in there and get that engine cranking like it's supposed to. Most people are not hired as negative. Only an idiot would hire an obviously negative person. Employees grow negative as they settle into the job. I find that when I really take the time to observe the way that employee moves through the world, I find the cause of the negativity. I can then work to address and eliminate the behavior, if not the cause. Some causes come from outside the workplace, so it's simply a task of making the workplace a positive refuge that values the employee's skills, but at the same time the rule has to be set that "nobody wants you bringing your personal dirt to work, so don't. If you want people to value you, then do what is valuable to them: your job to the best of your ability. And I will do everything I can to reward you."
How do I listen? With my eyes and ears. With my gut, too. I have good intuition. When the red flag waves, I start kicking in the five physical senses to find out why. I don't talk myself out of gut feelings. I acknowledge and search for the reason it's there. I watch hands, and eyes and walking gaits and whether the cell phone is plastered to the employee's ear. I watch how they communicate with others. I feel for bad vibes. Then I ask how they feel about their job. Do they feel like something's missing. Do they have career goals, and are those being supported? I come to know deep complex stories that go beyond the 8 - 5 world because I know work is affected by outside life. No matter how much I desire that personal problems not come to work, they do and they always will.
Therefore, I acknowledge the fragility of humanness in every one of my employees. When I do that, I find each of them to be remarkable people who perform amazing feats; even when personal odds may be stacked against them.
At the end of the day, it makes me a better performer because of my admiration for the humanity around me. As my philosophy permeates the office, we collectively grow a strong armor that protects us, as a team, from the negative forces that would bring us down.
Finally, I realize that some companies are easier to apply my philosophy to than others. If you work somewhere that makes it impossible to achieve top performance and positive results, find another place to work. No job should ever ruin a perfectly good starter.
Death from a broken heart
This is something I need to write down, but I'll have to be vague because I want to honor the person I'm writing about, but today, I realized that there are many ways to die from a broken heart. I've always tied this romantically tragic concept to the loss of a human being who is dear to the person whose heart is breaking. This is obviously obtuse of me because I'm a passionate person. I live my life with passion. The things I believe in, I uphold them with passion. You've read it here before: I want to be remembered for the worn out soles of my shoes when I die. The words I write or say are insignificant. It's the walk I'm willing to take that counts.
So back to death from a broken heart.
I have a work colleague who lost her husband to a sudden heart attack. The event was shocking and sad because both she and her husband are such vibrant, dedicated, respected people in their community. She is a Chief Officer for a reputable non-profit. He was a Vice President of Research in a major university. She is extremely down-to-earth and human, and she always described him in the same way. I never met him, but her offhanded, loving, supportive way of talking about him defied his role in the university, the academic world at large, and the realm of American government/politics. He socialized with world leaders and former American Presidents. He created major world educational entities. He was a brilliant scholar.
About a year ago, he was involved in a homeland security project that went awry and put some researchers in harm's way. The flap was the responsibility of a co-worker, but having compassion for her, he did not fire her, and took full responsibility for the mistakes that were made. After all, he was the one ultimately in charge, and it was the honorable thing to do. It was also his fall from grace. An easy scapegoat for the this fumbling mess of a Presidential administration we have. So the "friendships" dried up. His life changed.
Today, as I talked to my friend, his widow, I saw a tender sad story unfold. Without really saying it, and maybe without fully realizing what she was saying, she told me that her husband died of a broken heart. He had a heart attack on his way home from work. She found his abandoned car (EMS had already transported him to the hospital) on the by-pass as she headed home at the end of her day.
The way she found out is horrible by itself. It's terrifically sad because it was no secret that even after many, many years of marriage, and raising several kids, she still loved him deeply.
As she talked today, she spoke of a former President who used to consider her husband a close friend, but after the research flap, closed in his ranks. In fact, that "old friend" didn't even send as much as a sympathy card. She talked of the waning of meaning in her husband's life. She got a little angry as she spoke of several international math programs her husband created. Major academic coups for his university. Major positive relationships with very important foreign powers. None was acknowledged by the powerful who needed those allies for their political well being. And nevermind the pure intention of creating a better, more intelligent, safer, more humane world. All forgotten with a research mistake.
Then she told me her husband used to carry an index card in his shirt pocket with his entire day detailed. She found some after his death. One from before the research flap, one the day he died. The one before was thick with appointments. Every hour crammed with meetings and a thriving, vibrant scholar's day.
"He lived for it."
The day he died, the only appointment was dinner with the underling researcher who cost him his career in the first place. After that, he got in his car and died.
I told my friend about another friend's Buddhist suggestion that we need to lean into the sword and let the pain penetrate us.
My work friend, stood up straight as if a major revelation had been given to her. She leaned back a little, pursed her lips and put her hand to her face. She squinted, and seemed to find a connection to that idea.
"Well, I think he did that the day he died."
"He just couldn't get back off the sword," I finished.
You see, passion is our heart. No matter how much we're loved by our partners, family and real friends, sometimes life loses it's reason for being if we lose our reason for being. A man who was making a significant difference, who loved his life and how he lived it, made a gallant choice that cost him his spark.
My only question is for the former President whose son once described him in a party convention speech as the most decent man in the world...
What's decent and human about letting an honorable man die of a broken heart?